June 2008

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Canned tuna was on double deep discount this week so BabyDaddy and I stocked up. As I adore the Sabra brand Tuna Salad (and hummus - oh joy! the hummus), I decided to try to fool around with my basic Tuna Salad recipe. I don’t like it very much, but it will suffice when time and funds demand.

Old Skool Tuna Salad

2 cans tuna in water, dranied

1 big spoon mayo

1 big spoon sweet relish

salt

Mix. Die of boredom.

Now, my recent jaunt to the Mediterranean has caused me to try a radical thought - lemon juice and tahini in tuna. I also added some salt, some mayo, and a sprinkling of my secret shame, my secret love - smoked paprika.

Not quite there yet. It still needs something. Mostly something sweet to balance out the rest of the flavors. I’m not sure if this will involve sweet pickle relish or not, but I’ll keep trying until I realize canned tuna is a horror that cannot be saved. I PROMISE.

Last year I grew the Ichiban Eggplant and discovered a velvety, creamy, vanilla flavor when I roasted the fruit. This year, I put in another and we’re reaping the benefits tonight. So this:

Became this:

Which I cooked at 400 degrees F until nicely roasted. Then BabyDaddy scraped out the flesh (while I heated the pita. I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!)

Then I mixed the flesh in the blender with:

lemon juice

1 garlic clove

salt

olive oil

cumin

smoked paprika (optional but AWESOME)

tahini

And you have Baba Ganoush.

I do love these little feet. I love them best in sandals with dirty kid toes…

So Very Good.

(Let me know how much you love the short before the movie. All of the Recipes were in stitches.)

This is a beautiful, wonderful, very good movie. See it thrice.

RockStar took this picture of her empty ice cream bowl as her first representation of Summer. Yum.

I’m so in love with this. It’s expensive and goes bad quickly and it’s yummy and makes hummus into a sexy food again. I made hummus from scratch (because MamaSketchy is on an enforced vacation and feels the need to cook away her blues) today and I tried it with just cumin and just smoked paprika. The paprika kicked the cumin’s bootay. Here’s the hookup:

Hummus Among Us (The Hard Way)

1 bag of dried chickpeas

water

1/2 tsp baking soda

the time alloted to the unemployed

juice of 2 lemons

tahini

garlic clove

olive oil

ground cumin or smoked paprika

salt

Soak the chickpeas overnight. Drain, cover chickpeas with water by one inch, and cook with baking soda over medium heat for 1-2 hours, or until soft (adding water if necessary). Drain and let cool. Haul out your blender or food processor. Put half the lemon juice and one whole garlic clove in machine with a tsp of salt. Puree. Add a reasonable amount of chickpeas, oil, tahini, and cumin or smoked paprika. Add water if you’re blending. Puree until smooth. Correct seasonings. Store in the fridge for 3-4 days, if you’re lucky!

You’ve made a half batch. Repeat process from lemon juice or make channa masala with the leftover chickpeas.

EZ Chana Masala

1 tbs oil or ghee

1 tbs garam masala or curry powder

1 can diced tomatoes

leftover cooked chickpeas

salt & pepper to taste

Heat oil over medium in a large skillet. Add garam masala or curry powder and cook in hot oil for 30 seconds. Add chickpeas and toss to coat. Add tomatoes and lower to a simmer. Simmer for ten minutes. Serve over rice with yogurt and Major Grey’s mango chutney.

Skin tone. BabyDaddy (melanin boy) & Sketchy (fishbelly white), but I do know that it’s summer by his savage tan!

*A Cautionary Tale*

First the bizarre! I bought 62 food items from my grocer, including produce, dairy, & meat, and the total was $134.00. TRUST ME, that has never, ever, ever happened in the Recipe house. That is about one hippie/canvas/reusable bag for us. We can economize!

Now the tragic. The SR method of potato bakery involves a spud, a cotton towel, and a microwave. Then you wrap the hot tater in foil and let it percolate for about 15 minutes.

Had I known that this towel had a martyr complex,

or wanted to make a statement about the environmental effects of casual microwave use,

I would have listened and kept it in general dish drying rotation. But NOOOOOOO. It had to catch on fire, causing me to throw it out the back door, panic, and douse it with a carafe of water.

What The Hell? - I don’t mind telling you that I have had to have an extra glass of box wine to get through this. And I’m not the only one who is traumatized.

Everyone who reads here knows that my photos, um, suck, but in an attempt at self-improvement the Recipes will attempt to capture our essence of Summer in 10 pictures. The idea was inspired from this post at Sewing for Cherubs.

Here’s Mama Sketchy’s first photo:

A Fresh Garden

Brand, spanking new gardens.

Anyone remember that commercial? Anyone besides me? (By the way, I’ve had to edit this post about 10 times. I hope like hell that you all like Iced Tea.)

In any case, I found myself leafing through my trusty loose leaf notebook yesterday, searching diligently for my old Cook’s Illustrated iced tea recipe. It was nowhere to be found and for 1 minute I thought I might have break down and get one of those free trials for their website. Then I’d never cancel and I’d end up paying for it for the rest of my life (Hi Netflix, you wily bastards. No late fees my heiner.) LUCKILY, I managed to find my favorite iced tea recipe in the free section of the site. I will now share the SR tips and tricks to the basic recipe.

Cook’s Illustrated Iced Tea a la Sketchy

5 bags Luzianne, strings tied to a bamboo skewer

1 quart water

6 tbs sugar (optional)

ice and more water

Put the tea bags and water in a cold pan. Start a timer for 10 minutes. Turn heat to medium low. When the timer goes off, the water should be dark and steamy with tiny bubbles. Take pan off of the heat. Mix sugar and and about one cup of water in a pitcher. Mix until sugar dissolves. Remove bags from tea. Stir hot tea from pan into sugar water. Add ice and water to preferred octane level.

Do this every day for all 8 months of Summer.

Anyone remember that commercial? Anyone besides me? (By the way, I’ve had to edit this post about 10 times. I hope like hell that you all like Iced Tea.)

In any case, I found myself leafing through my trusty loose leaf notebook yesterday, searching diligently for my old Cook’s Illustrated iced tea recipe. It was nowhere to be found and for 1 minute I thought I might have break down and get one of those free trials for their website. Then I’d never cancel and I’d end up paying for it for the rest of my life (Hi Netflix, you wily bastards. No late fees my heiner.) LUCKILY, I managed to find my favorite iced tea recipe in the free section of the site. I will now share the SR tips and tricks to the basic recipe.

Cook’s Illustrated Iced Tea a la Sketchy

5 bags Luzianne, strings tied to a bamboo skewer

1 quart water

6 tbs sugar (optional)

ice and more water

Put the tea bags and water in a cold pan. Start a timer for 10 minutes. Turn heat to medium low. When the timer goes off, the water should be dark and steamy with tiny bubbles. Take pan off of the heat. Mix sugar and and about one cup of water in a pitcher. Mix until sugar dissolves. Remove bags from tea. Stir hot tea from pan into sugar water. Add ice and water to preferred octane level.

Do this every day for all 8 months of Summer.

I had a decent white wine - my choice during the 13 hot months here - this week. It was from a winery that I have actually visited and dismissed as “industrialized/declassee” in my dumb 20’s. It was from Chateau St. Michelle, Horse Heaven and it was the Sauvignon Blanc, 2000 vintage. It was yummy and under $20 - my criteria!

Buy a case. You won’t regret it for this price point.

When I was first “dating” BabyDaddy, I used my cooking wiles to try to snag this Green Mohawked Adonis. One of my tricks was cooking delicious dinners for him to enjoy, and then “accidentally” belch softly in my ear while he simultaneously whispered sweet somethings. Obviously, my cooking and his Mad Wooing skillz have managed to keep us happily hitched for 15 years. I will now give you the sauce recipe that is the rubber cement during our trying times.

**This dish is especially dedicated to my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry and to Uncle Billy. These are my bachelor playboys and they need recipes that can be easily made on their jets.**

LemonWineGarlicButterOil Sauce

1/2 stick salted butter

Garlic, as much as you like, chopped

1 tbs olive oil, flavored is even better (See the Cornbread post for ideas)

2 lemons, one juiced, one cut in half

1 glass boxed white wine, dry and citrusy (if you must, use a screw top bottle) NOT OPTIONAL

Salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to taste

1 lb raw, peeled shrimp

or

1 lb raw scallops

or

1 lb tilapia, chopped

or

1 lb chopped raw chicken breast

Melt butter in a nice sized skillet over low heat. Add oil and garlic. Sweat for a few minutes. Add protein, lemon juice, wine, and a pinch of salt. Turn flame to medium. Partially cook protein and remove. Add black and crushed red pepper to taste. Reduce sauce to barely coat the back of a wooden spoon. Put protein back in skillet. Finish cooking. Squeeze half a lemon over sauce and protein and taste for seasonings.

With this mixture you can:

Add to cooked pasta with parmesan

Sop up with crusty bread

Blend with vodka and drink with straw

Serve on a pile of mesclun or arugula with tomatoes and fresh mozzerella

WIN YOUR MATE!!!!!

**Here is an approximate representation of Larry - Culinary Hypnotherapist to the Starz

Enjoy the new banner!

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

I subscribe to Everyday Food. I love this little magazine. I give it as gifts and find at least one recipe in each issue to try. This time, it was something from their cocktail section. Now, for me, gin is a special liquid. I have only ever had it in countless frosty martinis or in bottomless double highballs with tonic. It is my favorite cocktail liquor. When I saw it paired with lemonade, I thought I would vomit. I was extremely hasty. I’ll admit that. You can’t have more than one of these beauties because they’re too damn sweet, but you will thoroughly enjoy your first.

Thyme Lemonade with Gin

1 part sugar

1 part water

1 bunch of fresh thyme

6 4 parts freshly squeezed lemon juiceĀ  (I got a little juice happy there!)

Make a simple syrup with sugar, water, and thyme. Add lemon juice to cooled syrup. Strain into a pitcher and add water and ice to taste. Pour a healthy amount of gin (not the good stuff, Beefeater is perfect) in a large glass and add lemonade & more ice. Squeeze some fresh lemon on top and serve.

This would also be nice with some club soda or seltzer in the glass.

Hey, I live on the Sun. It’s hot. It’s humid. The Recipe house is not well cooled and it was built before 1935. I don’t like using the oven for about 7 months out of the year.

BUT

I will make my baked beans. They’re the best that processed foods can give us. One day, the sky will blacken and we’ll all be choosing between red and blue pills, but for now, we have my Party Beans.

Party Beans

2 cans Bush’s Vegetarian Baked beans

1 BIG OLE can, Durkee’s (I don’t care IF they’re called French’s now) fried onions

mustard, to taste (I use Dijon because I’m snooty.)

Mrs. Butterworth’s - that’s right, Mrs. Like all good things, she’s taken, boys - to taste

Caveat: Do Not Use Good Maple Syrup. For some insane reason, Mrs. Butterworth’s works best in this.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Pour beans into rational size baking dish. Add mustard and syrup. Stir and taste. Correct terrifying seasonings. Add equally frightening fried onions to oniony saturation point. Bake until bubbly.

Try to hold back tears as people you have handmade puff pastry for ooh and aah over this pile of scrumptious chemicals.

This non-recipe diversion is caused by a marathon over the Father’s Day weekend of Mel Brooks films:

Fifi and Donny (my pater) reared my sister Mary, Mary and me on some totally awesome, uncut, pirated VHS Mel Brooks films. We cut our tween teeth on Blazing Saddles, “I’m Tired” is still one of my favorite songs, and Young Frankenstein, “Put The Candle BACK!” We still watch Donovan’s Reef every Thanksgiving. We’ve even shanghaied faux-grandparents Bike and Monnie into this addiction. I would love the recipe to Schwartz Wasser Kirsch Torte as much as I would love Gene Wilder as an older brother, but until the end of the rainbow is discovered, I’m afraid I have to have Fifi’s Beyond Awesome Dressing and a helping of the Reef. (It’s how I learned the singular of lice was louse!)

Do you and yours have any “Anything But Board Games” traditions? I’m completely happy with my familiar dysfunction. Because my family has always prided itself with putting the fun in dysfunction. Right, Fifi?

Let’s all have a chat about cornbread, shall we? My peeps are from the Deep South. BabyDaddy’s folks come from the upper Delta. We eat some cornbread here. Fifi makes her version for her To-Die-For-Dressing. I make what is basically a tarted up version of the original, non-sweet, cornmeal ONLY accompaniment to all things bean in this house.

DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT A 9 OR 10 INCH ROUND CAST IRON SKILLET

Cornbread Puttanesca

2 c yellow OR stone ground cornmeal, house brand is Fall’s Mill

2 tsp sugar

3/4 tsp coarse kosher salt, 1/2 tsp table salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

2 eggs, beaten

2 c buttermilk or 2 c non skim milk plus 2 tsp white vinegar or lemon juice

1 c corn kernals

1 c sharp cheddar or colby cheese, shredded (Please get pre-shredded. I won’t tell.)

Put a decent amount, 2-3 tbs, of cheap olive oil in your skillet. Put your skillet in the cold oven to heat. Preheat oven to 450 F. Mix together meal, sugar, salt, baking soda, and baking powder in a big bowl. In a smaller bowl, beat the eggs. Add the buttermilk and stir well. Add the corn and cheese. Mix wet with dry when oven temperature is reached. Take the batter to the oven, open the door, pull out the rack with the skillet, and pour the batter into the hot oil. Close the oven and don’t even peek for 15 minutes. Check every 5 minutes until the top of the bread is golden and set. Take the skillet out of the oven and let sit for 15 minutes. The bread is still cooking during this time. Slice and eat and eat and eat and eat.

To make this a High Class Call Girl:

Put one cup of olive oil in a pyrex glass measuring cup. Microwave on high for 30 seconds. Feel. Microwave for another 15-30 seconds or until the glass is hot to the touch. Add whole garlic cloves and/or any fresh herbs you have on hand at this time. Let the oil sit on the counter for at least two hours. Refrigerate and use for up to one month.

Use this oil for your cornbread. It’s subtle, but incredible. And always use protection. Especially with this recipe.

Slice with bottom crust

I knew I could make this at home. I was afraid of killing us all, but I got over that hurdle with the help of my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry. Do not make this if you don’t have a good juicing apparatus. The Recipe’s just adore the Black & Decker Citrus Mate Plus . RockStar uses it every damn day.

Anyway!

Shrimp and Whitefish Ceviche

1 lb peeled raw shrimp

1 fillet tilapia or other white fish (NOT CATFISH!)

3 limes, juiced

1 lemon, juiced

1 onion, finely diced

1/2 c tomatoes, finely diced (I use grape or currant tomatoes)

1/2 c cilantro, chopped

salt to taste

Chop raw shrimp into bite size chunks. Do the same with the fish. Add the citrus juice to the fish and shrimp and let sit for 5 minutes. Add additional ingredients. Let sit in the refrigerator for at least one hour. Taste for seasonings and serve with tortilla chips, hot sauce, sliced avocados, and extra sliced onion and tomatoes.

Keeps in fridge for 3 days, covered.

This recipe is rated HOLY COW!

He’s not my Uncle, but he is Uncle Billy. This is an approximated image of him:

(But for all the ladies in da house, Bill has a glorious head o’ hair.)

As Monsieur Guillaume is a gourmet, I have promised him the secret to Nirvana at Chez Recipe - Turkey Pot Pie. It’s all in the fillo dough crust and the long hours of loving hand work. Not really. Let’s bechamel, shall we?

This title is for all of the folks who remember disco skating and Simple Minds, whom I saw in concert thus rendering me more sensitive than you.

The “Smoke Up, Johnny! Bring Me My” Turkey Pot Pie

You need two turkey parts to bake. BabyDaddy & RockStar like a mix of white & dark so I use 1 drumstick and 1 breast. BD also likes the skin, so I leave it in, but he warns that it can be a bit “slimy”.

1 box frozen fillo dough

olive oil or melted butter for fillo*

1 onion, diced

1 carrot, quartered lengthwise and diced

1 stalk celery, washed and diced

1 tsp dried thyme OR 1 stalk fresh thyme, whole and 1/2 tsp dried thyme

4 tbs (1/2 stick) salted butter

4 tbs all purpose flour

1 quart whole or 2% milk

Veggies that you like in pot pie. I use frozen corn, frozen peas, sometimes taters, sometimes edamame

salt & pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 F. Wash, salt & pepper turkey pieces and put in an 11 inch by 7 inch rectangular pan. I use a clear glass job that I paid $4 for at a place that begins with T and ends with arget. Cover with foil and bake until juices run clear. Set aside, for days even. HOWEVER, I like to leave some of the pan juices in the dish to pour the filling on top of.

Have a cocktail. Get out one of the fillo packets to thaw (or thawl as RockStar insists.)

Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium low heat. When all butter is melted and sizzling, add flour and stir constantly so the mixture doesn’t burn. Count to 45 using the Mississippi/Chimpanzee method. Stir in 3/4 of a cup of milk. The sauce will “seize” or clump due to the chill of the milk hitting the butter - IT WILL BE OK.** When the sauce starts to “set” or feel dry, add another 3/4 of a cup of milk. Eventually, the sauce will begin to relax. This means it will take longer for the sauce to set. Add the fresh thyme at this point if you have it. Continue adding milk until the sauce coats the back of a wooden spoon, lightly.** Taste for seasonings and add salt and pepper at this point. Add the dried thyme.

Have a different cocktail.

Add frozen veggies to sauce. Cut or shred turkey into bite sized pieces and add. Let the combined filling cook on LOW for 5-10 minutes after you have tasted for seasonings.

Cocktail.

Make sure oven is 350 F. Pour delicious filling into the pan. Unroll fillo and cover with a damp towel. (Fillo dries out in 30 - 60 seconds so always keep the dough that you aren’t working with covered.) Place two layers of fillo on the pot pie. Breakage is expected and the bits that stand up are the crunchy goodness. Brush top fillo layer with oil or butter, lightly. Keep adding layers, 2 at a time, until you have at least 20 layers. Brush the top layer with oil or butter.

Have a snack.

Put the pot pie in a 350 F oven. Bake until bubbly and the top is a lovely golden brown color all over.

Consume. Put leftovers in the freezer. Eat within 1 month.

*I use olive oil in a Misto, but a cheap paintbrush, well washed, works just fine.

**If you put too much liquid in your bechamel, melt 1 tbs butter and 1 tbs flour in another pan to make a roux. Slowly start adding the thin sauce to this mixture. When you have half the original sauce in the new pan, add it back to the mother sauce.

This is no drawer-dropper, Billy, but it’ll do you right when things are cruddy at the Old Lady Towers.

Stay tuned. I’ve even charged up the camera for this one. That way I can take pictures of us puking up undercooked seafood!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

Look at his neck!

That is BD and our prize hen, Bubbles. Look at that jaw. *swoon*

BD: BabyDaddy, my long suffering husband of 15 years and RockStar’s father

RS: RockStar, the child who has been bribed with both ice cream and pudding pops in the past two hours. Mmmmm, that’s parenting!

RS: Dad, how do you cook?

BD: Nakedly.

RS: How do you really cook? Like as in, where you cook and what you cook on?

BD: I cook all over the place.

RS: You cook in the microwave, you cook on the stove, you cook in the oven, you cook in the microwave oven.

BD: Um. Mostly in our kitchen on our pots and pans. I like our cast iron skillets the bestest.

RS: I prefer to say best.

BD: Well, I prefer to say bestest. When you talk, you can say best.

RS: Do you have a special way you cook?

BD: Um, not really, maybe?

RS: If you do, then tell the folks.

BD: I like butter.

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

BD: I don’t know what you’re asking me?

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

RS: What’s your favorite food to cook?

BD: Scrambled eggs.

RS: What’s your favorite food, as in, to eat?

BD I’m not sure. I like lots of stuff. Red snapper? (Mommy laughs.) Um…. I do like beans. And I like soups a lot. Mostly stews. I like sandwiches a lot.

RS: DO YOU LOVE TO COOK? (RS requested this portion in all caps.)

BD: Yes. I think I might like to eat more.

Isn’t he too cute?

BMF: Bowel Movement FULL or Bunny McFluff

SR: Moi

BMF: What a lot of people want to know is how I keep my ass so fly, but I can’t be giving away the trade secrets.

SR: I understand, instead, what is your favorite protein?

BMF: <For Fifi I will say that Bunny’s answer is ‘Rod?’>

SR: What is your favorite beverage?

BMF: Beer.

SR: Do you wish to share brands with the readership?

BMF: I’m drinking Stella in a bottle right now, but anything alcoholic will do.

Ezzy (BMF’s baby): DUDE!

BMF: Ezzy, I don’t want you in my lap, you keep touching my BOOBS!

EB: WOW

BMF: Say, “HI HOT MAMA!”

EZ: unintelligible

SR: So what do you cook to keep your man happy?

BMF: I’ve found that a steaming hot helping of p…Ooga Wooga Wooga…helps.

SR: So what does your man cook for you?

BMF: Fish head soup and crawfish, lots of crawfish.

SR: Can we get Mr. McFluff’s fish head soup recipe at the SketchyRecipe?

BMF: I’m sorry, but it’s the most closely guarded recipe (ooooo, boog, daddi, ow) besides the tail fluffer in the house!

BMF:To Ezzy, No you can’t get in my lap, you’ll pull my boobies!!!

SR: I’m closing this interview due to lack of fish head stew mojo!!

Thanks to the McFluffs, especially EZZY. He knows good food!

My mother, otherwise known as Mommer, Meemaw, MawMaw, or Fifi Le Feu, is coming by to check out the place. Fifi likes a tidy ship and healthy competition. She introduced such joys as Potato Chip cookies, lebkuken, and coca-cola cake to my budding palate. She spent $3,000 on nuts so I could make baklava. She ate my salmon en papillote (I was about 12 when I foisted that one on her). She has suffered through Breakfast Sausage candy and an entire wedding cake baked and decorated at her house.

Fifi is a trooper and I love her for it.

Be nice.

Lordy.

However, the Recipe Dog is ready.

You have a biological imperative to make crap ass Mac and cheese, right?

Here’s how you stick it to the kids:

Sneaky Mac & Cheez Additive

1 heaping cup baby carrots, whole

1 sweet potato, scrubbed - skin on

1 aseptic pack, silken tofu - soft to firm (optional)

Steam carrots, covered, in a microwave safe bowl for 4-6 minutes with 2 tbs of water - OR - steam in a basket over a pan of boiling water until soft.

Put washed sweet potato in microwave for 4-6 minutes, depending on size. Wrap in foil, plastic wrap, or 2 hand towels (one damp - wrap around potato first. Then the dry towel.) Wait for 20 minutes. You can also bake the potato in foil at 375 F for 40 minutes.

Let carrots and potato cool.

Put tofu, potatoes, and carrots in a blender or food processor. Mix ingredients until smooth. Measure out into 1/2 cup portions in ziplock bags. Put bags in frrezer.

To make Good for Mom Mac ‘n Cheese, boil pasta. Drain, and warm butter and puree in pan. Add milk and stir together. Add cheez pack and reduce to a sauce. Add pasta and serve to kids. Have 3 cocktails.

Woo hoo!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

But it’s truly awesome.

(Formerly known as Spoogie Fish Bake. BabyDaddy vetoed that on textural grounds.)

Fish Baked in Special Sauce

Enough mild white fish fillets for your crowd, rinsed and dried

Duke’s mayonnaise, Kraft if you must

Either fresh green herbs, chopped (we like parsley & oregano from ye olde gardeneee)

Or

Italian style bread crumbs - Ian’s is house choice

Preheat oven to 350 F. Put fillets on a rimmed baking sheet and salt. Spread mayonnaise over entire top surface of fish. Sprinkle chopped herbs or breadcrumbs on top. Bake for 20 minutes.

The herbs will get crunchy and the breadcrumbs will appeal to the 15 and under crowd.

I got a new Black & Decker CitrusMate Plus today, and RockStar and I are juicing away. So far, it’s love, but we all know the Earth, Wind, and Fire song, right? After the Love is Gone. Story of my life with kitchen appliances. This one, however, only set me back to the tune of $15. $15!!!

Pardon me, but I’m feeling juicy.

I know this is late for your Hungover Sunday breakfast, but it should still garner you some eternal gratitude at various points in your life.

1-2 good eggs -you can save the cheapo eggs for baking - per person

1 onion, chopped - more for an orgy/brunch

butter - no margarine. no excuses for real, saturated fat.

As much of a jar of roasted red and yellow peppers as you need to face the day

feta - lots, chunked using the SR patented chunking method. (Fork, meet feta.)

Drain and rinse the peppers. Melt the butter in a cast iron skillet. Skinny folks will only have nonstick. It will do, but buy a cast iron skillet if you truly want a Life Partner in your cookware. Cut the onion in half on the equator, and then quarter it. Slice up half moons and saute in the butter until browned. Add the peppers and the egg. Salt and pepper to taste, plus feta and oregano if you have it. Leave on heat until slightly undercooked. TRUST ME. Serve to anyone still in your domicile. BabyDaddy and RockStar love these eggs, and we are not morning folk.

The sad harlots who call Lady Sketchy “friend” have given me such adjectives as “vulvular”, “labial”, and “the pink meat” for my open ended plea. I shall avenge my blog by forcing them to be profiled in the following weeks. Check out the humiliation AS IT HAPPENS. (And don’t think that I’ll let you, dear reader, get away with silence for long.)

What color is perfectly beautiful sashimi grade tuna? Pink, obviously. But what descriptive adjective truly captures the glory of raw tuna?

This is for an upcoming post so I really, really need some smart-like brains.

Danke!

Sketchy