Flotsam

Did I ever tell you that when Amazon first started, I used to get Christmas gifts from them? I am what you might call a Power Buyer. If I can’t get it through Amazon Prime, I will seriously consider not buying it. Sad, huh? Well now, the Devil has a new kind of crack for me - Subscribe & Save. Not  only do I get free(ish) shipping, but I also get nicely discounted, 9.25% sales tax free purchases on items not easily found in Recipopolis.

Exhibit One:

This is a staple in the Recipe houshold. This is also impossible to find in my burg. Even at the Whole Foods. This is why I have resorted to buying in bulk from the Amazon. At under $2.00 per pack, I’ve never gotten a better deal.

Exhibit B:

This kiddie crack is 99 cents PER TWIST at the store. I got it for a song and signed up for monthly delivery.

If you haven’t checked out the savings at the Amazon grocery, give it a whirl. I’m going to eat my Sneaky Mac and shop some more.

Et voila:

Jealous?

Looks like tuna to me?

Because it’s all food, all the time here.

Firefly Thorax. Not mine, but one of my favorite summertime sights.

Check morguefile.com for more wonderful photos.

The Archer Farms Green Chile and Cheese Tamales have been discontinued from my SUPERTARGET. Yes, we are a SUPER U.S. Majority family, but do not punish us by taking away our most non-ethnic/homogenized “ethnic” food. Just like I dream we have a clothesline, and a pig, and hens roaming about the back 0.14 acre, I acutely now feel pain in paying $6.00 to burn sweet petrol to buy totally faux tamales. THEY ARE YUMMY. Damnation. The ironies in These Times do sting.

If only we had a Prius.

I do love these little feet. I love them best in sandals with dirty kid toes…

So Very Good.

(Let me know how much you love the short before the movie. All of the Recipes were in stitches.)

This is a beautiful, wonderful, very good movie. See it thrice.

RockStar took this picture of her empty ice cream bowl as her first representation of Summer. Yum.

Skin tone. BabyDaddy (melanin boy) & Sketchy (fishbelly white), but I do know that it’s summer by his savage tan!

*A Cautionary Tale*

First the bizarre! I bought 62 food items from my grocer, including produce, dairy, & meat, and the total was $134.00. TRUST ME, that has never, ever, ever happened in the Recipe house. That is about one hippie/canvas/reusable bag for us. We can economize!

Now the tragic. The SR method of potato bakery involves a spud, a cotton towel, and a microwave. Then you wrap the hot tater in foil and let it percolate for about 15 minutes.

Had I known that this towel had a martyr complex,

or wanted to make a statement about the environmental effects of casual microwave use,

I would have listened and kept it in general dish drying rotation. But NOOOOOOO. It had to catch on fire, causing me to throw it out the back door, panic, and douse it with a carafe of water.

What The Hell? - I don’t mind telling you that I have had to have an extra glass of box wine to get through this. And I’m not the only one who is traumatized.

Everyone who reads here knows that my photos, um, suck, but in an attempt at self-improvement the Recipes will attempt to capture our essence of Summer in 10 pictures. The idea was inspired from this post at Sewing for Cherubs.

Here’s Mama Sketchy’s first photo:

Brand, spanking new gardens.

I had a decent white wine - my choice during the 13 hot months here - this week. It was from a winery that I have actually visited and dismissed as “industrialized/declassee” in my dumb 20’s. It was from Chateau St. Michelle, Horse Heaven and it was the Sauvignon Blanc, 2000 vintage. It was yummy and under $20 - my criteria!

Buy a case. You won’t regret it for this price point.

Enjoy the new banner!

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

That is BD and our prize hen, Bubbles. Look at that jaw. *swoon*

BD: BabyDaddy, my long suffering husband of 15 years and RockStar’s father

RS: RockStar, the child who has been bribed with both ice cream and pudding pops in the past two hours. Mmmmm, that’s parenting!

RS: Dad, how do you cook?

BD: Nakedly.

RS: How do you really cook? Like as in, where you cook and what you cook on?

BD: I cook all over the place.

RS: You cook in the microwave, you cook on the stove, you cook in the oven, you cook in the microwave oven.

BD: Um. Mostly in our kitchen on our pots and pans. I like our cast iron skillets the bestest.

RS: I prefer to say best.

BD: Well, I prefer to say bestest. When you talk, you can say best.

RS: Do you have a special way you cook?

BD: Um, not really, maybe?

RS: If you do, then tell the folks.

BD: I like butter.

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

BD: I don’t know what you’re asking me?

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

RS: What’s your favorite food to cook?

BD: Scrambled eggs.

RS: What’s your favorite food, as in, to eat?

BD I’m not sure. I like lots of stuff. Red snapper? (Mommy laughs.) Um…. I do like beans. And I like soups a lot. Mostly stews. I like sandwiches a lot.

RS: DO YOU LOVE TO COOK? (RS requested this portion in all caps.)

BD: Yes. I think I might like to eat more.

Isn’t he too cute?

My mother, otherwise known as Mommer, Meemaw, MawMaw, or Fifi Le Feu, is coming by to check out the place. Fifi likes a tidy ship and healthy competition. She introduced such joys as Potato Chip cookies, lebkuken, and coca-cola cake to my budding palate. She spent $3,000 on nuts so I could make baklava. She ate my salmon en papillote (I was about 12 when I foisted that one on her). She has suffered through Breakfast Sausage candy and an entire wedding cake baked and decorated at her house.

Fifi is a trooper and I love her for it.

Be nice.

Lordy.

However, the Recipe Dog is ready.

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

I got a new Black & Decker CitrusMate Plus today, and RockStar and I are juicing away. So far, it’s love, but we all know the Earth, Wind, and Fire song, right? After the Love is Gone. Story of my life with kitchen appliances. This one, however, only set me back to the tune of $15. $15!!!

Pardon me, but I’m feeling juicy.

SR = Sketchy Recipe aka The Moms

RS = RockStar aka the 7 year old who must eat protein but sneaks candy when SR is posting on her blog

SR: So do you want to tell the folks about your bad self?

RS: Mommmm!

SR: Bad is good, honey.

RS: Ask me about my cooking.

SR: What about your cooking?

RS: HOW I cook!

SR: How do you cook, baby?

RS: Well, um, I’m usually taking liquid ingredients and mixing them with solid ingredients to see what I come up with, but usually I don’t eat it.

SR: Is that what all of that googe is in the various vessels on the countertop?

RS: Maybe. You don’t know.

SR: So give me some examples of ingredient combinations.

RS: Well, the other night I mixed together 5 sprinkles, some pear infused vinegar, and some raspberry champagne vinegar, and some watermelon sour candy spray, and a little bit of nail polish remover because see, I was thinking of making my own nail polish remover (just testing.) Oh yeah, I put a little dollop of lotion and about 2 or 3 drops of Blue Glitter and Mr. Sandman nail polish.

SR: I really hope you did this in the good china. And what was your result?

RS: My results came up with, oh yeah I didn’t do it in china, I did it in one of those silver bowls, and I did try it on a nail polished finger, but nothing came off but the glitter so I think it became a glitter magnet. And it turned brown.

RS: (Ask me about my b-word rabbit.)

SR: Tell me about your favorite thing to eat that is not in the candy family.

RS: Oooo, that’s a hard one. pause. fidget. It starts with M and ends with E.

SR: Puzzled look

RS: Mac…

SR: Ok. Mac n cheese. Wanna tell the folks about your special healthy mac?

RS: My special healthy mac is , well it has, um, oh yeah! It has carrots and sweet potatoes and Momma makes it and freezes it and when I ask her to cook the macaroni and cheese that you have to cook over the stove, she puts some in.

SR: Don’t forget the tofu.

RS: Oh Yeah! Wait, tofu?!

SR: That’s what makes it fun to mix in the blender. That block of goop.

RS: Wow. I didn’t know that. Well, how about you tell the folks about Baby Bear(bunney).

SR: Unless we’re going to cook Baby Bear, that discussion is beyond the scope of this blog.

Goodbye from Sketchy and RockStar. We’re off to have a bowl of Special K Chocolatey Delight and watch cartoons. Enjoy this photo of Sketchy & RockStar with chicken on head.

I’m Sketchy and I have a Rainmanesque ability to recite recipes to friends and strangers. I also believe in the power of freeform cookery. This is my attempt to deal with my unrelenting need to test, perfect, discard, and archive my autistic food-related experiments. In my strange world are BabyDaddy, my leftover Dispos-All,  and RockStar, the 7 year old lab monkey for hidden vegetables in seemingly innocuous favorites.

I will let you know what is safe and what is terrifying. I take no responsibility for your individual results if you don’t live in my house, love butter and sodium, or have any english mastiff hair in your kitchen.