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Did I ever tell you that when Amazon first started, I used to get Christmas gifts from them? I am what you might call a Power Buyer. If I can’t get it through Amazon Prime, I will seriously consider not buying it. Sad, huh? Well now, the Devil has a new kind of crack for me - Subscribe & Save. Not  only do I get free(ish) shipping, but I also get nicely discounted, 9.25% sales tax free purchases on items not easily found in Recipopolis.

Exhibit One:

This is a staple in the Recipe houshold. This is also impossible to find in my burg. Even at the Whole Foods. This is why I have resorted to buying in bulk from the Amazon. At under $2.00 per pack, I’ve never gotten a better deal.

Exhibit B:

This kiddie crack is 99 cents PER TWIST at the store. I got it for a song and signed up for monthly delivery.

If you haven’t checked out the savings at the Amazon grocery, give it a whirl. I’m going to eat my Sneaky Mac and shop some more.

Unfortunately, I can’t find my camera for the poor photography portion of the blog. I have been cooking my booty off and plan on posting if I have to beg, borrow, or steal a camera. Hell, you may get bad shots from my phone.

Want a tease? How about Lebanese Lentil and Greens soup? Tofu Creamed Spinach? Marinated Collards?

It’s all happening at Sketchy Central.

Yuletide comes early to the Recipes, thus my favorite Holiday brunch-ish recipe.

WARNING: ONCE YOU MAKE THIS, YOU CANNOT TURN AWAY FROM THE DARKSIDE.

Thanks Fif!

Only ONCE Per Year French Toast Casserole

Day 1
Combine
1/2 c whole milk or half & half
1 1/2 c dark brown sugar
3/4 c unsalted butter
1/4 c + 2 tbs light corn syrup (Karo)
pinch salt
in a heavy suacepan over medium heat and stir constantly for 5 minutes. Pour into a lightly greased 13″ by 9″ dish. Fit slices of challah, brioche, Sally Lunn, french or stale Texas Toast bread over syrup. Combine
4 eggs, beaten
2 1/2 c whole milk or half & half
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt
and pour over bread. Cover and chill overnight.

Day 2
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Sprinkle 3 tbs of cinnamon sugar over casserole, cover with foil and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes and then remove the cover for the rest of the cooking time.

Take aspirin or have another Bloody Mary. Your arteries need all the help they can get!

This is a gimme, but if my veg hating kid wants it, maybe yours will too?

RS Tasty Greenies

1 pkg prewashed green beans

1 tbs italian dressing (I use Wishbone italian in the spray bottle)

salt & pepper

Cook green beans in a glass bowl covered with wax paper for 4 minutes. Coat with dressing, salt, & pepper.

RS can make this herself and she loves to spray the dressing. She always gets the green beans and asks to take them with her to lunch the next day. These are better cold.

I made it tonight. I feel like doody. I’ve got this funk BabyDaddy brought back from Hotlanta. He also brought back a generous paycheck, but the cold has been here just as long. Bleh.

Sickly Tomato Soup

1 large can Campbell’s Tomato soup (gross)

1 c orzo

dried oregano

*smoked paprika

salt

1 can evaporated milk

**Robitussin DM

Cook pasta in boiling salted water for 6 minutes. Drain out half of the water. Add the “soup” concentrate, shudder, and stir. Add herb, *fancy, schmancy spice, and can o milk (because your milk is now a green planet.) Drink water and chase with Recommended Dose of **Robitussin more water. Stir. Serve. Sleep and pee. Blurg.

Let me set this little scenario up for you.
Back on June 15 (yes, of this year) Sketch gave you her recipe for cornbread.  Within a few days she got a comment from a woman who had written a recipe book about cornbread.  Would Sketch like a free copy of the book?  Being a smart cookie Sketch said, Yes m’am, thank you very much.  Within a short time the book arrived.  Now we get to the good part.  Sketch wanted to do a review of this book but Sketch doesn’t like to write reviews.  Guess what, I do!  Therefore, here is my review of this bodacious book.  Well, actually the book isn’t bodacious, the recipes are but you know what I mean.  (I can get a little long winded so Sketch may decide to serialize this thing.)
THE CORNBREAD GOSPELS  by Crescent Dragonwagon
Workman Publishing  2007
In the not too distant past I ate food prepared by Ms Dragonwagon in her restaurant in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.  I can’t say that I remember the cornbread specifically but I do know that I enjoyed the food and meeting this very interesting woman while on my trip.  She has since moved away from Arkansas but the traditions and roots of a Southern Lady run deep.  It is very obvious that Ms Dragonwagon did extensive research on cornmeal and all the scrumptious foods which can be made from this product.  She is a powerful advocate for using the stone ground variety only and all the recipes in this book use that more wholesome version of cornmeal.  The author states in the book that this project was six years in the making and I can well believe that after reading this book from cover to cover.  Here are some of my likes and dislikes.
LIKES:
1.  Each recipe comes with personal anecdotes of where she got the recipe, how she has reinvented it (if she has) and how best to prepare the specific recipe.  I just loved all the personal stories attached to the recipes.  They give the book a very warm, personal feel.
2.  The book contains MUCH more than just cornbread recipes.  In fact, I think it should have been called The CornMEAL Gospels but that might not appeal to a very wide audience.  There are chapters on variations on the cornbread theme, what to serve with cornbread, and cornmeal used in preparing desserts.
3.  I have tried four of the recipes and they are GOOD!  My husband and I are in the no-sweetners-in-the-cornbread camp.  My first recipe trial was of Ms. Dragonwagon’s own Dairy Hollow House Skillet Sizzled Cornbread.  I liked it a lot.  Husband type immediately tasted the sweetness and that was it for him - no more!  The second time I made it I left out the sugar and he ate it as if he would never get enough.  I invited two friends over (Hey there Bonnie and June!) and we had a taste testing.  I made Jane’s Texas-via-Vermont Mexican Cornbread (fabulous, can I just tell you, fabulous!!) and a vegetarian soup called Uncannily Good Santa Fe Style Quick Green Chile Soup/Stew.  The three of us ate until our little bellies were so full we just had to stop.  Then everybody took some home and we all had it again the next day.  Don’t you just love the names of these recipes?  That is what I mean by the book having a warm, personal feeling.
As you can tell, I really recommend this book, BUT….. there were some problems for me.
DISLIKES:
1.  There are no pictures in the recipe book, NONE.  A big mistake from my point of view.  I realize that it would be difficult to show one cornbread recipe variation from another with a photograph but what about cornbread resting beside a plate of one of those wonderful side dishes?  Every single recipe didn’t have to be pictured but it needed something to make it more visually attractive.  An opportunity missed from my standpoint.
2.  This author makes too much to-do about the differences between Northern and Southern cornbread.  Truth to tell, I thought the Northern cornbread recipes were not for a product which would be considered a “bread” to be eaten with a meal.  Way, way too much sweetner in the ingredients for a Southern girl to try them with a pot of black-eyed peas and ham.  Just put the recipes in, regardless of the region of the country.  By the time I’m through with this book I may have tried everything in there, who knows?
3.  There is a HUGE amount of material and information about cornMEAL in this book.  It has been lovingly collected by Ms Dragonwagon over a long period of time.  I started off reading it all.  Somewhere about page 100 I realized I was ignoring it in favor of getting to the recipes.  I found it overwhelming.  So very much information.
Would I recommend this cookbook?  Absolutely yes, but (and don’t you just know there is always going to be a ..but,) if you are a novice cook, or if you are going to give this book to a novice cook, make sure you remember that there are no picture helpful hints to aid  the cook along the way.
This review is just my personal opinion.  Everyone who views a book looks at it from their own perspective.  Sketch and I have recently entered into a lawsuit over custody of the cookbook.  Somebody (Sketch) is going to have to go buy her own copy.  Now, get out your well seasoned cast iron skillet and let’s get to cookin’.

I just had RockStar’s 8th birthday this weekend, out of town guests last weekend, and I’m back to my 9 to 5. There are many recipes percolating and I plan on spending my entire weekend writing and setting up posting so it’s back to our regular schedule. (Also, Fifi has a book review to share with the class.)

Keep the faith!

BabyDaddy and I scored some excellent, fresh lady peas from the green grocer yesterday. We also got baby sweet potatoes and the Best Tomatoes In The History of Man. Here’s what I do with super fresh lady peas (my favorite cowpea variety):

Fresh Lady/Purple Hull/Cow/Black-eyed Pea:

Legumes

Water to cover

Salt to taste

Wash peas and remove leaves and strings and shell fragments (It ain’t Grammaw pickin’ them clean anymore, kids. Machines can now sit on the glider on the front porch in the heat.) Cover peas with water by one inch. Add one tsp of salt per inch of water. Bring to a boil. Test after 10 minutes. Fresh peas are done when there is a bit of resistance to the tooth and a slight grassy flavor in the end product. Serve with cornbread/biscuits, butter, and hot sauce. Greens and sliced garden tomatoes are mandatory.

You are now a Southerner. Congratulations. Now go support the Dixie Chicks. Sketchy LOVES them.

THIS RECIPE IS NOT CORRECT. PLEASE SEE FIFI’S COMMENT FOR THE REAL LIPSMACKER.

BabyDaddy ate himself sick and wanted more.

I saw the recipe and would still feed it to my family.

Meet the epitome of Bad-For-You-Food.

Sharon Ritz by Way of Aunt Bunny’s Vermicelli Salad v. Fifi 2.0

14 oz vermicelli, broken into pieces

2 t Accent aka MSG

Nature’s Seasoning to taste (I think this is an herbal MSG vehicle)

1 10oz jar sliced green olives, drained well

1 15oz can sliced black olives, drained well

1 bunch green onions, sliced

1/2 c shredded carrots

2 c mayonnaise

Cook pasta according to directions. Drain. Add Accent & Nature’s Seasonings while pasta is warm. Chill. Add olives, onions, and carrot, mixing well. Add mayo to taste. Chill well.

Warm up the defibrillator.

I present Capers:

The last time RockStar, BabyDaddy, and I saw my grandmother for a visit at home (the very last was at the hospital right before she died) we went to the Kroger in her town and got a regular Sunday morning schmear. Lox, capers, onions, tomato, the works. Out of the blue, she took a caper out of the jar and popped it into her mouth. She was in love with them. Every time I talked to her on the phone after that, she told me how good they were and how she loved to eat capers on her salad. It makes me very happy to know that life has pleasant surprises for us, even in your 80’s with dementia.

Happy Birthday Miss Mary.

(Here’s another pal we met on that trip.)

Et voila:

Jealous?

And lordy, we’ll need them all. This is our Ichiban eggplant right now:

That’s one plant. Luckily, we all love this variety so the other night I wandered out back and gathered 2 eggplant and a handful of grape tomatoes. Oh wait a minute. There were no ripe grape tomatoes. Squirrels are satan. I swear. So here’s what went down:

Simple Eggplant Saute

2 japanese eggplants or 1 medium globe eggplant, cubed

1 onion, cut into half moons

3 sprigs of fresh thyme

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Diced tomatoes or 1/2 can diced tomatoes (squirrels, grrrrrr), optional

Mix it til it’s tasty over medium heat. Add tomatoes once eggplant is softened.

Duh, huh? Picture Time!!!

No tomatoes.

Yummy.

The Recipes preferred the tomato version, but I think that’s because I under salted the other version which was lovely and subtle.

Woo Hoo!!!

Lots of great posts are in the hopper for the next few days including a mac and cheese that is yumlicious.

It’s great to be back and thanks for the patience.

She was my grandmother, but so much more.

A real life force, Honey was the best person I’ve ever known. She was so kind, so gentle, so honorable. The last 10 years of her life were a blur of trying to keep her happy, in a good way. She loved her great grandchildren so much. It was almost more than she could take. She paid Mary, Mary and me to pick worms off of her Catawbas when we were kids. She was number one in the grandparent department, unconditionally. BabyDaddy knew it. We all did.

Miss Mary made horrible food, but she was the best person I’ve ever known. Fifi is allowed to have issues with her mom, but she was good nail polish, cheap paperbacks, terrible gossip rags, diamond watches, dirty Playskool toys, and white picket fences to me.

What a legacy.

The Last Thing Honey Made for Me

1 avocado, mashed

1 onion, diced

1 c mayonnaise

Mix all together. Let turn gray. Inform your grandchild you have made her favorite dish. Heap a 2 c scoop on her plate with saltines. Take 24 different prescriptions.

I love my Honey, but this was a Therapy Worthy meal. She would love that, lol.

Here she is, holding a bunch of random stuff a 4 year old gave her:

We’re moving on up. To the East Side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky-high-high.

Mooovin on up. To the East Side.

We finally got a piece of the pi-i-iii-iiiie, yeah-eah-eah.

You kids can drop the wordpress from the site name. We’ll now be just http://sketchyrecipe.com.

See how happy we are?

I made this tonight. It was not a total success. I think it would be in a rice cooker.

Much Lazier and It’s From a Can Enchilada Sauce Rice

1 c mild red enchilada sauce

1 c white rice

1 c water

2 tbs oil

Warm the oil in a skillet. Add the rice. Stir to cook a bit and then add water and then sauce when you can smell the rice toasting. Bring to a simmer and let cook for 10 minutes, covered. Add 2 parts water for 1 part sauce to the mix if you need to. Cook for 10 more minutes, adding water and sauce, until cooked.

This never cooked fully for me.

What I will do next time? Cook the rice in the rice cooker with the same 2 parts water to one part sauce plus salt.

I will update! (Because we celebrate the failures here too!)

This is how I found an interesting recipe on another blog, Karma-Free cooking. Madelyn has very kindly given me permission to recreate her recipe with some Recipe changes. There are a few more steps than I generally like in a pasta bake, but the efforts are interesting. RockStar and I think that we’ve come up with some changes to the next incarnation of Madelyn’s brainstorm.

Karma Free Pasta Bake, Recipe version

1 onion, diced

3 tbs butter plus 1 tsp oil

1 box Barilla Plus pasta

1 box frozen chopped spinach, thawed

1 c chopped tomatoes OR 1 c chopped carrots

1 c shredded medium chedder

1 c shredded Monterey jack

1 quart half & half

2 tbs mustard

1/4 tsp grated nutmeg or mace

salt & pepper

Step One: Melt butter and heat oil in a small skillet. Add onion, sprinkle with salt, and saute until onion is transparent. Pour into the bottom of a 9 inch by 13 inch baking dish. Add pasta and stir in onions and fat to coat pasta.

Step Two: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Press spinach in colander or twist in a towel to remove most of the moisture. Spread over pasta. Scatter tomatoes or carrots over spinach. Spread cheese over the top of the dish.

Step Three: Pour half & half into a bowl. Add mustard, nutmeg, pepper, and at least 1 tsp of salt. Whisk until mustard has incorporated into mix. Pour liquid over the pasta and veggies slowly. Cover dish with foil and bake for 40 minutes, covered. Uncover and bake for 10 more minutes.

This was good, but a bit, um, curdy. Here’s what we’re trying next time:

In a large saucepan, melt 4 tbs butter. Add onions & salt. When onions are transparent, add 4 tbs all purpose flour and saute for one minute. Slowly add 1 quart milk to make a bechamel (fully explained here). When bechamel coats a spoon, add mustard, nutmeg, pepper, and 1 tsp salt. You can also add the cheese to this sauce if you want it more uniform and less stringy.

You will have to boil the pasta for this version because the sauce won’t release enough moisture to cook the dry pasta. Otherwise, layer cooked pasta, spinach, tomatoes/carrots, cheese, cover with sauce, and bake as directed.

I will keep you informed about the version Recipe 2.0

I have no pictures of this, but I did find an old pic of RecipeDog looking like the camera is sketchy. So cute!!!

I also cannot tell you how they were, as I don’t eat turkey. I’ll give you the recipe and then BabyDaddy will have to give you the critique later.

Turkey Enchiladas in Hatch’s Green Sauce

2 turkey thighs, baked and meat pulled in bite sized pieces

8 flour tortillas

shredded pepper jack and colby cheese, about 1 cup of each

1 diced yellow onion

Hatch’s green enchilada sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Put tortillas in a stack in the oven while it warms up. Pour about 1/4 cup of the sauce into the turkey and stir to coat. Remove tortillas from oven and cover with a kitchen towel. Take your first tortilla and put about 1/4 cup of turkey on it, sprinkle with a tiny bit of salt, sprinkle on onion to taste, add a sprinkle of both cheeses, fold and put seam side down in an 8 inch square baking dish. I can get 4 enchiladas per dish and it takes a can of sauce per pan of enchiladas, plus the rest of the cheese on top. I like to bake 2 and freeze at least one (don’t put sauce on these) pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

Now, I do these with just cheese and onions for the RockStar and me and they are Migh-T tasty.

Street legal crack in sauce form:

The winner of the Bag contest is Leigh! I’ll be sure to share pictures of the horror that the Recipes create.

That wins the poorly decorated canvas bag by yours truly. Really. (Maybe)

You need to find the original post and put a comment there.

Good luck, hippies.

So her name is really Aunt Bunny, but she has been tagged as Monnie here. This is her Kick Ass sweet fruit salsa with cinnamon pita chips. My heavens, it was fantastic.

Fruit Salsa
3/4 - 1 Granny Smith Apple (finely chopped - use food processor or chop by hand - don’t use blender)
2-3 Kiwis (peeled and finely chopped by hand or processor)
1 cup Fresh Strawberries (sliced and finely chopped - ditto on chopping)
Dressing for fruit:
1/4 cup Orange Juice
2 TBSP Brown Sugar
2 TBSP Apple Jelly
Stir above ingredients well. Pour over fruit mixture, but you may not need all the dressing. You don’t want it to be too soupy, judge the dressing by the consistency.
Serve with STACY’S Cinnamon Flavored Pita Chips.
This recipe is too good, even RockStar loved it (Blondie, her cousin, not so much.) SR

The LunaR moth. It comes to feed on our moonvine. Here are pictures of the Luna moth and moonvine from Morguefile.com. I love that site!

Looks like tuna to me?

Because it’s all food, all the time here.

Once upon a time, in a land exactly where I’m sitting, Sketchy and BabyDaddy adhered to the Weight Watchers gestalt. The only positive thing we lost, and then regained - in spades - from that experience, was one of BD’s favorite soup recipes. This is not a minor point, as soup/stew is considered a Perfect food by BD. We had heard of this mythical soup from Fifi and Mary,Mary (my sister). It was only in a Points System/No Meat format that this ubiquitous diet food entered our house.

Do Not Fear. I can make anything dangerously unhealthy. It’s my gift.

Taco Soup

1 lb ground beef, turkey, or veggie crumbles
1 onion, diced
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch dressing mix
2 cans Rotel or mexican style tomatoes
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can corn, drained
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 c broth, any kind

Brown beef or turkey in a medium soup pot with chopped onions. If using beef, drain excess fat. Mix in taco seasoning and ranch dressing packets and stir into meat and onions until incorporated. When meat is cooked, add the rest of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. (If using veggie crumbles, add them now.) Add more water for soupier consistency.

Make 8 -10 cups and freezes well. Very low fat and high in fiber.

Deliciousness Additions: Tortilla chips, sour cream, crema, creme fraiche, lime juice, crusty bread and salted butter, cheese, any kind of cheese, lots of cheese

Firefly Thorax. Not mine, but one of my favorite summertime sights.

Check morguefile.com for more wonderful photos.

The Tomato Sandwich

2 slices rustic bread

1 garden tomato, sliced

mayonnaise

salt & pepper

kitchen sink

Spread a healthy, insulating layer of mayo on bread to protect you against evil. Sprinkle pepper on mayo. Layer tomato slices to desired slippage/depth. Sprinkle tomato slices with salt. Assemble sandwich. Cut sandwich in half. Eat over sink to catch drips.

Rinse. Repeat. Relax in the cool like these two ‘Mater Sammich Addicts.

I will in no way vouch for an accuracy in locale to this recipe (found in general status under Mexican Rice II at allrecipes.com, plus generous reviewer contributions which will be incorporated here.) It tastes just like what I get with the Number 3 Lunch Spechul at my local taqueria. If you have a basic level fuzzy logic rice cooker, you get the Lazy Man’s Special, if not, check your skillet often.

1 c white rice (never ever used here except for this recipe)

1 1/2 c vegetable/chicken broth

1/2 c tomato sauce

1 tbs oil or butter

1 small onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, smashed and diced

1 tsp salt, plus salt for The Onion Sweat - not a new band, by the way

1 tsp ground cumin

*Put rice in cooker. Add tomato sauce to cooker next so you can clean out measuring cup with broth. Add broth.

Over low heat, add oil to skillet. Add cumin, cook for 30 seconds. Add onion, salt, and garlic. Sweat for 5 minutes over low heat.

(If cooking rice on stovetop, add wet ingredients AND RICE now , stir and cover. Cook over low heat for 20 - 30 minutes. Fluff and serve.)

Add onion and garlic mixture to wet ingredients in cooker and mix. Close cover and cook per directions.

Enjoy and fight over leftovers. I would have taken a picture of the rice, but we ate it all. Tee Hee.

By the by, the tomato sauce is enough for three servings of Fuzzy Logic Mexican Rice. Just sayin…

* These are instructions for kitchen geeks with small to medium sized fuzzy logic rice cookers.

The Archer Farms Green Chile and Cheese Tamales have been discontinued from my SUPERTARGET. Yes, we are a SUPER U.S. Majority family, but do not punish us by taking away our most non-ethnic/homogenized “ethnic” food. Just like I dream we have a clothesline, and a pig, and hens roaming about the back 0.14 acre, I acutely now feel pain in paying $6.00 to burn sweet petrol to buy totally faux tamales. THEY ARE YUMMY. Damnation. The ironies in These Times do sting.

If only we had a Prius.

For the border. Tamales, guac, and mexican rice.

Yummy!

Canned tuna was on double deep discount this week so BabyDaddy and I stocked up. As I adore the Sabra brand Tuna Salad (and hummus - oh joy! the hummus), I decided to try to fool around with my basic Tuna Salad recipe. I don’t like it very much, but it will suffice when time and funds demand.

Old Skool Tuna Salad

2 cans tuna in water, dranied

1 big spoon mayo

1 big spoon sweet relish

salt

Mix. Die of boredom.

Now, my recent jaunt to the Mediterranean has caused me to try a radical thought - lemon juice and tahini in tuna. I also added some salt, some mayo, and a sprinkling of my secret shame, my secret love - smoked paprika.

Not quite there yet. It still needs something. Mostly something sweet to balance out the rest of the flavors. I’m not sure if this will involve sweet pickle relish or not, but I’ll keep trying until I realize canned tuna is a horror that cannot be saved. I PROMISE.

Last year I grew the Ichiban Eggplant and discovered a velvety, creamy, vanilla flavor when I roasted the fruit. This year, I put in another and we’re reaping the benefits tonight. So this:

Became this:

Which I cooked at 400 degrees F until nicely roasted. Then BabyDaddy scraped out the flesh (while I heated the pita. I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!)

Then I mixed the flesh in the blender with:

lemon juice

1 garlic clove

salt

olive oil

cumin

smoked paprika (optional but AWESOME)

tahini

And you have Baba Ganoush.

I do love these little feet. I love them best in sandals with dirty kid toes…

So Very Good.

(Let me know how much you love the short before the movie. All of the Recipes were in stitches.)

This is a beautiful, wonderful, very good movie. See it thrice.

RockStar took this picture of her empty ice cream bowl as her first representation of Summer. Yum.

I’m so in love with this. It’s expensive and goes bad quickly and it’s yummy and makes hummus into a sexy food again. I made hummus from scratch (because MamaSketchy is on an enforced vacation and feels the need to cook away her blues) today and I tried it with just cumin and just smoked paprika. The paprika kicked the cumin’s bootay. Here’s the hookup:

Hummus Among Us (The Hard Way)

1 bag of dried chickpeas

water

1/2 tsp baking soda

the time alloted to the unemployed

juice of 2 lemons

tahini

garlic clove

olive oil

ground cumin or smoked paprika

salt

Soak the chickpeas overnight. Drain, cover chickpeas with water by one inch, and cook with baking soda over medium heat for 1-2 hours, or until soft (adding water if necessary). Drain and let cool. Haul out your blender or food processor. Put half the lemon juice and one whole garlic clove in machine with a tsp of salt. Puree. Add a reasonable amount of chickpeas, oil, tahini, and cumin or smoked paprika. Add water if you’re blending. Puree until smooth. Correct seasonings. Store in the fridge for 3-4 days, if you’re lucky!

You’ve made a half batch. Repeat process from lemon juice or make channa masala with the leftover chickpeas.

EZ Chana Masala

1 tbs oil or ghee

1 tbs garam masala or curry powder

1 can diced tomatoes

leftover cooked chickpeas

salt & pepper to taste

Heat oil over medium in a large skillet. Add garam masala or curry powder and cook in hot oil for 30 seconds. Add chickpeas and toss to coat. Add tomatoes and lower to a simmer. Simmer for ten minutes. Serve over rice with yogurt and Major Grey’s mango chutney.

Skin tone. BabyDaddy (melanin boy) & Sketchy (fishbelly white), but I do know that it’s summer by his savage tan!

*A Cautionary Tale*

First the bizarre! I bought 62 food items from my grocer, including produce, dairy, & meat, and the total was $134.00. TRUST ME, that has never, ever, ever happened in the Recipe house. That is about one hippie/canvas/reusable bag for us. We can economize!

Now the tragic. The SR method of potato bakery involves a spud, a cotton towel, and a microwave. Then you wrap the hot tater in foil and let it percolate for about 15 minutes.

Had I known that this towel had a martyr complex,

or wanted to make a statement about the environmental effects of casual microwave use,

I would have listened and kept it in general dish drying rotation. But NOOOOOOO. It had to catch on fire, causing me to throw it out the back door, panic, and douse it with a carafe of water.

What The Hell? - I don’t mind telling you that I have had to have an extra glass of box wine to get through this. And I’m not the only one who is traumatized.

Everyone who reads here knows that my photos, um, suck, but in an attempt at self-improvement the Recipes will attempt to capture our essence of Summer in 10 pictures. The idea was inspired from this post at Sewing for Cherubs.

Here’s Mama Sketchy’s first photo:

A Fresh Garden

Brand, spanking new gardens.

Anyone remember that commercial? Anyone besides me? (By the way, I’ve had to edit this post about 10 times. I hope like hell that you all like Iced Tea.)

In any case, I found myself leafing through my trusty loose leaf notebook yesterday, searching diligently for my old Cook’s Illustrated iced tea recipe. It was nowhere to be found and for 1 minute I thought I might have break down and get one of those free trials for their website. Then I’d never cancel and I’d end up paying for it for the rest of my life (Hi Netflix, you wily bastards. No late fees my heiner.) LUCKILY, I managed to find my favorite iced tea recipe in the free section of the site. I will now share the SR tips and tricks to the basic recipe.

Cook’s Illustrated Iced Tea a la Sketchy

5 bags Luzianne, strings tied to a bamboo skewer

1 quart water

6 tbs sugar (optional)

ice and more water

Put the tea bags and water in a cold pan. Start a timer for 10 minutes. Turn heat to medium low. When the timer goes off, the water should be dark and steamy with tiny bubbles. Take pan off of the heat. Mix sugar and and about one cup of water in a pitcher. Mix until sugar dissolves. Remove bags from tea. Stir hot tea from pan into sugar water. Add ice and water to preferred octane level.

Do this every day for all 8 months of Summer.

Anyone remember that commercial? Anyone besides me? (By the way, I’ve had to edit this post about 10 times. I hope like hell that you all like Iced Tea.)

In any case, I found myself leafing through my trusty loose leaf notebook yesterday, searching diligently for my old Cook’s Illustrated iced tea recipe. It was nowhere to be found and for 1 minute I thought I might have break down and get one of those free trials for their website. Then I’d never cancel and I’d end up paying for it for the rest of my life (Hi Netflix, you wily bastards. No late fees my heiner.) LUCKILY, I managed to find my favorite iced tea recipe in the free section of the site. I will now share the SR tips and tricks to the basic recipe.

Cook’s Illustrated Iced Tea a la Sketchy

5 bags Luzianne, strings tied to a bamboo skewer

1 quart water

6 tbs sugar (optional)

ice and more water

Put the tea bags and water in a cold pan. Start a timer for 10 minutes. Turn heat to medium low. When the timer goes off, the water should be dark and steamy with tiny bubbles. Take pan off of the heat. Mix sugar and and about one cup of water in a pitcher. Mix until sugar dissolves. Remove bags from tea. Stir hot tea from pan into sugar water. Add ice and water to preferred octane level.

Do this every day for all 8 months of Summer.

I had a decent white wine - my choice during the 13 hot months here - this week. It was from a winery that I have actually visited and dismissed as “industrialized/declassee” in my dumb 20’s. It was from Chateau St. Michelle, Horse Heaven and it was the Sauvignon Blanc, 2000 vintage. It was yummy and under $20 - my criteria!

Buy a case. You won’t regret it for this price point.

When I was first “dating” BabyDaddy, I used my cooking wiles to try to snag this Green Mohawked Adonis. One of my tricks was cooking delicious dinners for him to enjoy, and then “accidentally” belch softly in my ear while he simultaneously whispered sweet somethings. Obviously, my cooking and his Mad Wooing skillz have managed to keep us happily hitched for 15 years. I will now give you the sauce recipe that is the rubber cement during our trying times.

**This dish is especially dedicated to my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry and to Uncle Billy. These are my bachelor playboys and they need recipes that can be easily made on their jets.**

LemonWineGarlicButterOil Sauce

1/2 stick salted butter

Garlic, as much as you like, chopped

1 tbs olive oil, flavored is even better (See the Cornbread post for ideas)

2 lemons, one juiced, one cut in half

1 glass boxed white wine, dry and citrusy (if you must, use a screw top bottle) NOT OPTIONAL

Salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to taste

1 lb raw, peeled shrimp

or

1 lb raw scallops

or

1 lb tilapia, chopped

or

1 lb chopped raw chicken breast

Melt butter in a nice sized skillet over low heat. Add oil and garlic. Sweat for a few minutes. Add protein, lemon juice, wine, and a pinch of salt. Turn flame to medium. Partially cook protein and remove. Add black and crushed red pepper to taste. Reduce sauce to barely coat the back of a wooden spoon. Put protein back in skillet. Finish cooking. Squeeze half a lemon over sauce and protein and taste for seasonings.

With this mixture you can:

Add to cooked pasta with parmesan

Sop up with crusty bread

Blend with vodka and drink with straw

Serve on a pile of mesclun or arugula with tomatoes and fresh mozzerella

WIN YOUR MATE!!!!!

**Here is an approximate representation of Larry - Culinary Hypnotherapist to the Starz

Enjoy the new banner!

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

Tonight we had Papa John’s. It’s the Gourmet Choice. Or the Lazy Choice. Anyway, I came home from work today and thought, “Oh lord, what will I blog about?!” THAT was a point of panic in my day. Ugh. So I actually tossed around the idea of making dinner FOR MY BLOG READERS. Hell to the no. I wanted pizza.

I will make Eggplant Parmesan soon, but until then, I’m outta here (until tomorrow.)

Thank you for enjoying my cooking crisis.

(Here is one of my favorite backyard hens, Mean Betty. She’s the woman I hope to become.)

I subscribe to Everyday Food. I love this little magazine. I give it as gifts and find at least one recipe in each issue to try. This time, it was something from their cocktail section. Now, for me, gin is a special liquid. I have only ever had it in countless frosty martinis or in bottomless double highballs with tonic. It is my favorite cocktail liquor. When I saw it paired with lemonade, I thought I would vomit. I was extremely hasty. I’ll admit that. You can’t have more than one of these beauties because they’re too damn sweet, but you will thoroughly enjoy your first.

Thyme Lemonade with Gin

1 part sugar

1 part water

1 bunch of fresh thyme

6 4 parts freshly squeezed lemon juice  (I got a little juice happy there!)

Make a simple syrup with sugar, water, and thyme. Add lemon juice to cooled syrup. Strain into a pitcher and add water and ice to taste. Pour a healthy amount of gin (not the good stuff, Beefeater is perfect) in a large glass and add lemonade & more ice. Squeeze some fresh lemon on top and serve.

This would also be nice with some club soda or seltzer in the glass.

Hey, I live on the Sun. It’s hot. It’s humid. The Recipe house is not well cooled and it was built before 1935. I don’t like using the oven for about 7 months out of the year.

BUT

I will make my baked beans. They’re the best that processed foods can give us. One day, the sky will blacken and we’ll all be choosing between red and blue pills, but for now, we have my Party Beans.

Party Beans

2 cans Bush’s Vegetarian Baked beans

1 BIG OLE can, Durkee’s (I don’t care IF they’re called French’s now) fried onions

mustard, to taste (I use Dijon because I’m snooty.)

Mrs. Butterworth’s - that’s right, Mrs. Like all good things, she’s taken, boys - to taste

Caveat: Do Not Use Good Maple Syrup. For some insane reason, Mrs. Butterworth’s works best in this.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Pour beans into rational size baking dish. Add mustard and syrup. Stir and taste. Correct terrifying seasonings. Add equally frightening fried onions to oniony saturation point. Bake until bubbly.

Try to hold back tears as people you have handmade puff pastry for ooh and aah over this pile of scrumptious chemicals.

This non-recipe diversion is caused by a marathon over the Father’s Day weekend of Mel Brooks films:

Fifi and Donny (my pater) reared my sister Mary, Mary and me on some totally awesome, uncut, pirated VHS Mel Brooks films. We cut our tween teeth on Blazing Saddles, “I’m Tired” is still one of my favorite songs, and Young Frankenstein, “Put The Candle BACK!” We still watch Donovan’s Reef every Thanksgiving. We’ve even shanghaied faux-grandparents Bike and Monnie into this addiction. I would love the recipe to Schwartz Wasser Kirsch Torte as much as I would love Gene Wilder as an older brother, but until the end of the rainbow is discovered, I’m afraid I have to have Fifi’s Beyond Awesome Dressing and a helping of the Reef. (It’s how I learned the singular of lice was louse!)

Do you and yours have any “Anything But Board Games” traditions? I’m completely happy with my familiar dysfunction. Because my family has always prided itself with putting the fun in dysfunction. Right, Fifi?

Let’s all have a chat about cornbread, shall we? My peeps are from the Deep South. BabyDaddy’s folks come from the upper Delta. We eat some cornbread here. Fifi makes her version for her To-Die-For-Dressing. I make what is basically a tarted up version of the original, non-sweet, cornmeal ONLY accompaniment to all things bean in this house.

DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT A 9 OR 10 INCH ROUND CAST IRON SKILLET

Cornbread Puttanesca

2 c yellow OR stone ground cornmeal, house brand is Fall’s Mill

2 tsp sugar

3/4 tsp coarse kosher salt, 1/2 tsp table salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

2 eggs, beaten

2 c buttermilk or 2 c non skim milk plus 2 tsp white vinegar or lemon juice

1 c corn kernals

1 c sharp cheddar or colby cheese, shredded (Please get pre-shredded. I won’t tell.)

Put a decent amount, 2-3 tbs, of cheap olive oil in your skillet. Put your skillet in the cold oven to heat. Preheat oven to 450 F. Mix together meal, sugar, salt, baking soda, and baking powder in a big bowl. In a smaller bowl, beat the eggs. Add the buttermilk and stir well. Add the corn and cheese. Mix wet with dry when oven temperature is reached. Take the batter to the oven, open the door, pull out the rack with the skillet, and pour the batter into the hot oil. Close the oven and don’t even peek for 15 minutes. Check every 5 minutes until the top of the bread is golden and set. Take the skillet out of the oven and let sit for 15 minutes. The bread is still cooking during this time. Slice and eat and eat and eat and eat.

To make this a High Class Call Girl:

Put one cup of olive oil in a pyrex glass measuring cup. Microwave on high for 30 seconds. Feel. Microwave for another 15-30 seconds or until the glass is hot to the touch. Add whole garlic cloves and/or any fresh herbs you have on hand at this time. Let the oil sit on the counter for at least two hours. Refrigerate and use for up to one month.

Use this oil for your cornbread. It’s subtle, but incredible. And always use protection. Especially with this recipe.

Slice with bottom crust

I knew I could make this at home. I was afraid of killing us all, but I got over that hurdle with the help of my Culinary Hypnotherapist, Larry. Do not make this if you don’t have a good juicing apparatus. The Recipe’s just adore the Black & Decker Citrus Mate Plus . RockStar uses it every damn day.

Anyway!

Shrimp and Whitefish Ceviche

1 lb peeled raw shrimp

1 fillet tilapia or other white fish (NOT CATFISH!)

3 limes, juiced

1 lemon, juiced

1 onion, finely diced

1/2 c tomatoes, finely diced (I use grape or currant tomatoes)

1/2 c cilantro, chopped

salt to taste

Chop raw shrimp into bite size chunks. Do the same with the fish. Add the citrus juice to the fish and shrimp and let sit for 5 minutes. Add additional ingredients. Let sit in the refrigerator for at least one hour. Taste for seasonings and serve with tortilla chips, hot sauce, sliced avocados, and extra sliced onion and tomatoes.

Keeps in fridge for 3 days, covered.

This recipe is rated HOLY COW!

He’s not my Uncle, but he is Uncle Billy. This is an approximated image of him:

(But for all the ladies in da house, Bill has a glorious head o’ hair.)

As Monsieur Guillaume is a gourmet, I have promised him the secret to Nirvana at Chez Recipe - Turkey Pot Pie. It’s all in the fillo dough crust and the long hours of loving hand work. Not really. Let’s bechamel, shall we?

This title is for all of the folks who remember disco skating and Simple Minds, whom I saw in concert thus rendering me more sensitive than you.

The “Smoke Up, Johnny! Bring Me My” Turkey Pot Pie

You need two turkey parts to bake. BabyDaddy & RockStar like a mix of white & dark so I use 1 drumstick and 1 breast. BD also likes the skin, so I leave it in, but he warns that it can be a bit “slimy”.

1 box frozen fillo dough

olive oil or melted butter for fillo*

1 onion, diced

1 carrot, quartered lengthwise and diced

1 stalk celery, washed and diced

1 tsp dried thyme OR 1 stalk fresh thyme, whole and 1/2 tsp dried thyme

4 tbs (1/2 stick) salted butter

4 tbs all purpose flour

1 quart whole or 2% milk

Veggies that you like in pot pie. I use frozen corn, frozen peas, sometimes taters, sometimes edamame

salt & pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 F. Wash, salt & pepper turkey pieces and put in an 11 inch by 7 inch rectangular pan. I use a clear glass job that I paid $4 for at a place that begins with T and ends with arget. Cover with foil and bake until juices run clear. Set aside, for days even. HOWEVER, I like to leave some of the pan juices in the dish to pour the filling on top of.

Have a cocktail. Get out one of the fillo packets to thaw (or thawl as RockStar insists.)

Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium low heat. When all butter is melted and sizzling, add flour and stir constantly so the mixture doesn’t burn. Count to 45 using the Mississippi/Chimpanzee method. Stir in 3/4 of a cup of milk. The sauce will “seize” or clump due to the chill of the milk hitting the butter - IT WILL BE OK.** When the sauce starts to “set” or feel dry, add another 3/4 of a cup of milk. Eventually, the sauce will begin to relax. This means it will take longer for the sauce to set. Add the fresh thyme at this point if you have it. Continue adding milk until the sauce coats the back of a wooden spoon, lightly.** Taste for seasonings and add salt and pepper at this point. Add the dried thyme.

Have a different cocktail.

Add frozen veggies to sauce. Cut or shred turkey into bite sized pieces and add. Let the combined filling cook on LOW for 5-10 minutes after you have tasted for seasonings.

Cocktail.

Make sure oven is 350 F. Pour delicious filling into the pan. Unroll fillo and cover with a damp towel. (Fillo dries out in 30 - 60 seconds so always keep the dough that you aren’t working with covered.) Place two layers of fillo on the pot pie. Breakage is expected and the bits that stand up are the crunchy goodness. Brush top fillo layer with oil or butter, lightly. Keep adding layers, 2 at a time, until you have at least 20 layers. Brush the top layer with oil or butter.

Have a snack.

Put the pot pie in a 350 F oven. Bake until bubbly and the top is a lovely golden brown color all over.

Consume. Put leftovers in the freezer. Eat within 1 month.

*I use olive oil in a Misto, but a cheap paintbrush, well washed, works just fine.

**If you put too much liquid in your bechamel, melt 1 tbs butter and 1 tbs flour in another pan to make a roux. Slowly start adding the thin sauce to this mixture. When you have half the original sauce in the new pan, add it back to the mother sauce.

This is no drawer-dropper, Billy, but it’ll do you right when things are cruddy at the Old Lady Towers.

Stay tuned. I’ve even charged up the camera for this one. That way I can take pictures of us puking up undercooked seafood!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

You’ve got sauce. This is adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe.

House Marinara

2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped

olive oil

2 cans diced tomatoes

5-10 leaves fresh basil, chopped (this must be fresh basil)

sugar and salt to taste

fresh oregano (optional) and/ or crushed red pepper

Heat a few tbs oil in a pan. Open cans of tomatoes. Add garlic to oil. Let sizzle for 15-30 seconds. Add tomatoes and juices. Let simmer for 5-10 minutes over medium heat. Add basil and salt and sugar to balance out flavors. Add oregano and crushed red pepper if you like. Reduce for about 5 more minutes. Add to pasta.

Fresh tomatoes are heaven (in season). Canned tomatoes, especially Muir Glen, are forever. You can also add cream, pork, shrimp, ground beef/turkey, or chicken chunks to this mix.

ABUNDANZA!

Look at his neck!

That is BD and our prize hen, Bubbles. Look at that jaw. *swoon*

BD: BabyDaddy, my long suffering husband of 15 years and RockStar’s father

RS: RockStar, the child who has been bribed with both ice cream and pudding pops in the past two hours. Mmmmm, that’s parenting!

RS: Dad, how do you cook?

BD: Nakedly.

RS: How do you really cook? Like as in, where you cook and what you cook on?

BD: I cook all over the place.

RS: You cook in the microwave, you cook on the stove, you cook in the oven, you cook in the microwave oven.

BD: Um. Mostly in our kitchen on our pots and pans. I like our cast iron skillets the bestest.

RS: I prefer to say best.

BD: Well, I prefer to say bestest. When you talk, you can say best.

RS: Do you have a special way you cook?

BD: Um, not really, maybe?

RS: If you do, then tell the folks.

BD: I like butter.

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

BD: I don’t know what you’re asking me?

RS: What’s your favorite way to cook?

RS: What’s your favorite food to cook?

BD: Scrambled eggs.

RS: What’s your favorite food, as in, to eat?

BD I’m not sure. I like lots of stuff. Red snapper? (Mommy laughs.) Um…. I do like beans. And I like soups a lot. Mostly stews. I like sandwiches a lot.

RS: DO YOU LOVE TO COOK? (RS requested this portion in all caps.)

BD: Yes. I think I might like to eat more.

Isn’t he too cute?

BMF: Bowel Movement FULL or Bunny McFluff

SR: Moi

BMF: What a lot of people want to know is how I keep my ass so fly, but I can’t be giving away the trade secrets.

SR: I understand, instead, what is your favorite protein?

BMF: <For Fifi I will say that Bunny’s answer is ‘Rod?’>

SR: What is your favorite beverage?

BMF: Beer.

SR: Do you wish to share brands with the readership?

BMF: I’m drinking Stella in a bottle right now, but anything alcoholic will do.

Ezzy (BMF’s baby): DUDE!

BMF: Ezzy, I don’t want you in my lap, you keep touching my BOOBS!

EB: WOW

BMF: Say, “HI HOT MAMA!”

EZ: unintelligible

SR: So what do you cook to keep your man happy?

BMF: I’ve found that a steaming hot helping of p…Ooga Wooga Wooga…helps.

SR: So what does your man cook for you?

BMF: Fish head soup and crawfish, lots of crawfish.

SR: Can we get Mr. McFluff’s fish head soup recipe at the SketchyRecipe?

BMF: I’m sorry, but it’s the most closely guarded recipe (ooooo, boog, daddi, ow) besides the tail fluffer in the house!

BMF:To Ezzy, No you can’t get in my lap, you’ll pull my boobies!!!

SR: I’m closing this interview due to lack of fish head stew mojo!!

Thanks to the McFluffs, especially EZZY. He knows good food!

My mother, otherwise known as Mommer, Meemaw, MawMaw, or Fifi Le Feu, is coming by to check out the place. Fifi likes a tidy ship and healthy competition. She introduced such joys as Potato Chip cookies, lebkuken, and coca-cola cake to my budding palate. She spent $3,000 on nuts so I could make baklava. She ate my salmon en papillote (I was about 12 when I foisted that one on her). She has suffered through Breakfast Sausage candy and an entire wedding cake baked and decorated at her house.

Fifi is a trooper and I love her for it.

Be nice.

Lordy.

However, the Recipe Dog is ready.

You have a biological imperative to make crap ass Mac and cheese, right?

Here’s how you stick it to the kids:

Sneaky Mac & Cheez Additive

1 heaping cup baby carrots, whole

1 sweet potato, scrubbed - skin on

1 aseptic pack, silken tofu - soft to firm (optional)

Steam carrots, covered, in a microwave safe bowl for 4-6 minutes with 2 tbs of water - OR - steam in a basket over a pan of boiling water until soft.

Put washed sweet potato in microwave for 4-6 minutes, depending on size. Wrap in foil, plastic wrap, or 2 hand towels (one damp - wrap around potato first. Then the dry towel.) Wait for 20 minutes. You can also bake the potato in foil at 375 F for 40 minutes.

Let carrots and potato cool.

Put tofu, potatoes, and carrots in a blender or food processor. Mix ingredients until smooth. Measure out into 1/2 cup portions in ziplock bags. Put bags in frrezer.

To make Good for Mom Mac ‘n Cheese, boil pasta. Drain, and warm butter and puree in pan. Add milk and stir together. Add cheez pack and reduce to a sauce. Add pasta and serve to kids. Have 3 cocktails.

Woo hoo!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So the challenge is to give up paper and plastic shopping bags from June 9, 2008 through July 1, 2008.

This means:

No new paper or plastic bags can be used during this time during ANY shopping trip. Big box, grocery, farmer’s market, drug store, or hardware store.

If you buy reusable bags, they only count if you use them at least once during the challenge.

The first person to comment that they completed this challenge (that has commented on THIS post that they are participating in the challenge) on July 2, 2008 will receive a badly decorated canvas bag from me, Ms. Sketchy with all your bidness on it in puffy paint within two weeks of the close of this challenge.

Kill, kill, my minions!

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

So here are a few activities that keep Ms. Sketchy’s kitchen cool.

1 - Wine in a Box. Experts say “it’s 2% less embarrassing than it was in the early 90’s!

2 - Jello Pudding Pops. The vanilla pop, whilst looking a bit like a cross between what could impregnate a cow and a delicious treat, is deeply satisfying.

3 - My asparagus and tomato broil/grill.

The Only Side Dish You’ll Ever Need that Makes Your Pee Smell Musty

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed (if you ever peel asparagus I will come to your house and smack you)

1 cup grape or currant tomatoes

olive oil

sals & pfeffer

Preheat broiler. Put foil on a rimmed baking sheet. Put asparagus spears and tomatoes on foil and drizzle with oil. Toss with your hands and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Leave under broiler until tomatoes pop and asparagus is slightly charred.

This is great hot, cold, room temperature, the next day, and it KILLS at potlucks. Slays. Murders. It doesn’t commit sex crimes, but you might be missing a twenty in the morning. You won’t care.

But it’s truly awesome.

(Formerly known as Spoogie Fish Bake. BabyDaddy vetoed that on textural grounds.)

Fish Baked in Special Sauce

Enough mild white fish fillets for your crowd, rinsed and dried

Duke’s mayonnaise, Kraft if you must

Either fresh green herbs, chopped (we like parsley & oregano from ye olde gardeneee)

Or

Italian style bread crumbs - Ian’s is house choice

Preheat oven to 350 F. Put fillets on a rimmed baking sheet and salt. Spread mayonnaise over entire top surface of fish. Sprinkle chopped herbs or breadcrumbs on top. Bake for 20 minutes.

The herbs will get crunchy and the breadcrumbs will appeal to the 15 and under crowd.

I got a new Black & Decker CitrusMate Plus today, and RockStar and I are juicing away. So far, it’s love, but we all know the Earth, Wind, and Fire song, right? After the Love is Gone. Story of my life with kitchen appliances. This one, however, only set me back to the tune of $15. $15!!!

Pardon me, but I’m feeling juicy.

I know this is late for your Hungover Sunday breakfast, but it should still garner you some eternal gratitude at various points in your life.

1-2 good eggs -you can save the cheapo eggs for baking - per person

1 onion, chopped - more for an orgy/brunch

butter - no margarine. no excuses for real, saturated fat.

As much of a jar of roasted red and yellow peppers as you need to face the day

feta - lots, chunked using the SR patented chunking method. (Fork, meet feta.)

Drain and rinse the peppers. Melt the butter in a cast iron skillet. Skinny folks will only have nonstick. It will do, but buy a cast iron skillet if you truly want a Life Partner in your cookware. Cut the onion in half on the equator, and then quarter it. Slice up half moons and saute in the butter until browned. Add the peppers and the egg. Salt and pepper to taste, plus feta and oregano if you have it. Leave on heat until slightly undercooked. TRUST ME. Serve to anyone still in your domicile. BabyDaddy and RockStar love these eggs, and we are not morning folk.

The sad harlots who call Lady Sketchy “friend” have given me such adjectives as “vulvular”, “labial”, and “the pink meat” for my open ended plea. I shall avenge my blog by forcing them to be profiled in the following weeks. Check out the humiliation AS IT HAPPENS. (And don’t think that I’ll let you, dear reader, get away with silence for long.)

What color is perfectly beautiful sashimi grade tuna? Pink, obviously. But what descriptive adjective truly captures the glory of raw tuna?

This is for an upcoming post so I really, really need some smart-like brains.

Danke!

Sketchy

SR = Sketchy Recipe aka The Moms

RS = RockStar aka the 7 year old who must eat protein but sneaks candy when SR is posting on her blog

SR: So do you want to tell the folks about your bad self?

RS: Mommmm!

SR: Bad is good, honey.

RS: Ask me about my cooking.

SR: What about your cooking?

RS: HOW I cook!

SR: How do you cook, baby?

RS: Well, um, I’m usually taking liquid ingredients and mixing them with solid ingredients to see what I come up with, but usually I don’t eat it.

SR: Is that what all of that googe is in the various vessels on the countertop?

RS: Maybe. You don’t know.

SR: So give me some examples of ingredient combinations.

RS: Well, the other night I mixed together 5 sprinkles, some pear infused vinegar, and some raspberry champagne vinegar, and some watermelon sour candy spray, and a little bit of nail polish remover because see, I was thinking of making my own nail polish remover (just testing.) Oh yeah, I put a little dollop of lotion and about 2 or 3 drops of Blue Glitter and Mr. Sandman nail polish.

SR: I really hope you did this in the good china. And what was your result?

RS: My results came up with, oh yeah I didn’t do it in china, I did it in one of those silver bowls, and I did try it on a nail polished finger, but nothing came off but the glitter so I think it became a glitter magnet. And it turned brown.

RS: (Ask me about my b-word rabbit.)

SR: Tell me about your favorite thing to eat that is not in the candy family.

RS: Oooo, that’s a hard one. pause. fidget. It starts with M and ends with E.

SR: Puzzled look

RS: Mac…

SR: Ok. Mac n cheese. Wanna tell the folks about your special healthy mac?

RS: My special healthy mac is , well it has, um, oh yeah! It has carrots and sweet potatoes and Momma makes it and freezes it and when I ask her to cook the macaroni and cheese that you have to cook over the stove, she puts some in.

SR: Don’t forget the tofu.

RS: Oh Yeah! Wait, tofu?!

SR: That’s what makes it fun to mix in the blender. That block of goop.

RS: Wow. I didn’t know that. Well, how about you tell the folks about Baby Bear(bunney).

SR: Unless we’re going to cook Baby Bear, that discussion is beyond the scope of this blog.

Goodbye from Sketchy and RockStar. We’re off to have a bowl of Special K Chocolatey Delight and watch cartoons. Enjoy this photo of Sketchy & RockStar with chicken on head.

Sketchy, RockStar, & Bubbles the Wonder Chicken

Here at Chez Recipe, it’s called Pasta Bake. As Mr. Recipe is currently living out of town most of the time, he feels compelled to recreate that feeling of “home” by making the very recipe that bores him to death here. Sweet justice for mama, no?

First, let me wax poetic about Barilla Plus pasta.

It’s not gross. It’s not grainy. It doesn’t taste like the box it came in. RockStar loves it.

Penne works best for the bake because the sauce can goosh into the tubes and cook the pasta from the inside and the outside. I use the rotini and the elbows for Kinda Greek Pasta Salad.

Pasta Bake

1 jar favorite pasta sauce (Mom’s is our house choice)

1 box penne

shredded mozzarella

Preheat oven to 350 F. Pour half the sauce on the bottom of a medium baking dish. Pour in pasta. Fill sauce jar back to the top with water and pour over pasta. Add salt or pepper and any fresh herbs you like. Make sure the pasta is level with the sauce or it will be too dry. Top with cheese and cover with foil. Bake for 40 minutes. Remove foil and bake for 10-20 more minutes.

That’s it. However, popular Recipe variations include: fresh mozzarella, a spinach and ricotta layer on top of the pasta with parmesan on top, and alfredo sauce over the pasta with italian bread crumbs on top. The possibilities are endless.

This is another planting weekend. Much to RockStar’s dismay, the Recipes are putting out the second wave of carrots and the first of beets. The carrots are some Purple Haze that I bought, and lost, and found, and lost, and tried to throw away but recovered, seeds from last year. The beets are golden seeds that I just got. No drama yet with them. So what is the best way to showboat some of these fancy colored carrots? Pasta salad, of course!

Kinda Greek Pasta Salad

1 box, Barilla Plus pasta, cooked al dente

1 c cherry tomatoes, quartered

1 c Carrots of Many Colors, cut into coins

1 can quartered artichoke hearts in water, rinsed and patted dry

1/2 cup roasted red/yellow peppers, chopped

1 chunk of feta cheese, chunked into lil chunks

1 tbs fresh oregano, chopped

Bottled greek vinaigrette (my secret shame. my secret love.)

Anything else you feel like chopping

Salt & Pepa

Mix it until it’s yummy. Best when room temperature, but cold ain’t bad.

This is another planting weekend. Much to RockStar’s dismay, the Recipes are putting out the second wave of carrots and the first of beets. The carrots are some Purple Haze that I bought, and lost, and found, and lost, and tried to throw away but recovered, seeds from last year. The beets are golden seeds that I just got. No drama yet with them. So what is the best way to showboat some of these fancy colored carrots? Pasta salad, of course!

Kinda Greek Pasta Salad

1 box, Barilla Plus pasta, cooked al dente

1 c cherry tomatoes, quartered

1 c Carrots of Many Colors, cut into coins

1 can quartered artichoke hearts in water, rinsed and patted dry

1/2 cup roasted red/yellow peppers, chopped

1 chunk of feta cheese, chunked into lil chunks

1 tbs fresh oregano, chopped

Bottled greek vinaigrette (my secret shame. my secret love.)

Anything else you feel like chopping

Salt & Pepa

Mix it until it’s yummy. Best when room temperature, but cold ain’t bad.

This is another planting weekend. Much to RockStar’s dismay, the Recipes are putting out the second wave of carrots and the first of beets. The carrots are some Purple Haze that I bought, and lost, and found, and lost, and tried to throw away but recovered, seeds from last year. The beets are golden seeds that I just got. No drama yet with them. So what is the best way to showboat some of these fancy colored carrots? Pasta salad, of course!

Kinda Greek Pasta Salad

1 box, Barilla Plus pasta, cooked al dente

1 c cherry tomatoes, quartered

1 c Carrots of Many Colors, cut into coins

1 can quartered artichoke hearts in water, rinsed and patted dry

1/2 cup roasted red/yellow peppers, chopped

1 chunk of feta cheese, chunked into lil chunks

1 tbs fresh oregano, chopped

Bottled greek vinaigrette (my secret shame. my secret love.)

Anything else you feel like chopping

Salt & Pepa

Mix it until it’s yummy. Best when room temperature, but cold ain’t bad.

This yogurt is heaven. It is bliss. It is all that yogurt should always have been, but never was. It is also impossible to pronounce for the Sketchy Recipe family.

Is it Fay’juh (lite schwa at the end)? No.

Is it Fay’yuh, as BabyDaddy asserts? Maybe?

Let’s consult the packaging, shall we. It states the correct pronunciation is “fa yah”. No long, short, or oomlot symbol provided as to the proclivity of that first A. I think I’ll just call it greek yogurt.

Seven Minutes in Heaven

1 container greek yogurt

1/4 c salted, shelled pistachios

honey

Put the nuts on the yogurt. Put the honey on the nuts. Eat. Savor. Contemplate modern Greek vowel pronunciation. Put more honey on the yogurt.

This yogurt is heaven. It is bliss. It is all that yogurt should always have been, but never was. It is also impossible to pronounce for the Sketchy Recipe family.

Is it Fay’juh (lite schwa at the end)? No.

Is it Fay’yuh, as BabyDaddy asserts? Maybe?

Let’s consult the packaging, shall we. It states the correct pronunciation is “fa yah”. No long, short, or oomlot symbol provided as to the proclivity of that first A. I think I’ll just call it greek yogurt.

Seven Minutes in Heaven

1 container greek yogurt

1/4 c salted, shelled pistachios

honey

Put the nuts on the yogurt. Put the honey on the nuts. Eat. Savor. Contemplate modern Greek vowel pronunciation. Put more honey on the yogurt.

This yogurt is heaven. It is bliss. It is all that yogurt should always have been, but never was. It is also impossible to pronounce for the Sketchy Recipe family.

Is it Fay’juh (lite schwa at the end)? No.

Is it Fay’yuh, as BabyDaddy asserts? Maybe?

Let’s consult the packaging, shall we. It states the correct pronunciation is “fa yah”. No long, short, or oomlot symbol provided as to the proclivity of that first A. I think I’ll just call it greek yogurt.

Seven Minutes in Heaven

1 container greek yogurt

1/4 c salted, shelled pistachios

honey

Put the nuts on the yogurt. Put the honey on the nuts. Eat. Savor. Contemplate modern Greek vowel pronunciation. Put more honey on the yogurt.

Salmon burgers are gross. Period. It’s just a Bad Idea.

My soft salad, however, is very good.

1 $3.99 (!) bag of spinach - this is not the GIANT bag of spinach, nooooooo. This is the small bag with some kind of magical four dollar property. BabyDaddy and I are going to try to smoke the rest of it after RockStar goes to bed.

1 ripe avocado - $1.99 *hold me* - sliced

1 container marinated goat cheese, oil drained and used as dressing base

fruit flavored vinegar

salt & pepper

Make dressing. Put expensive avocado on exorbitant spinach and add some cheese. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and dress.

If food prices continue to climb, Sketchy will be forced to start an entirely different kind of web venture to support the family’s food bill.

Last night’s post-Ironman/pre-bedtime snack:

1 container grape tomatoes, quartered

1 container perlini

2 tbs fresh basil, chopped

olive oil

cheap balsamic

salt & pepper

Mix to taste

The perlinis were great. They made the salad pasta-like. Even rockstar ate it up. Snap some up if you can find it in your store.

Too much?

This morning’s recipe is fairly safe and straightforward.

Make toast

Spread with Nutella

Eat with the one ripe raspberry from your garden

We planted a raspberry a few weeks ago and now we are reaping the benefits of one fruit per day. That brings the cost per raspberry to $3 so far. I’m sticking it to the man, yo.

I’m Sketchy and I have a Rainmanesque ability to recite recipes to friends and strangers. I also believe in the power of freeform cookery. This is my attempt to deal with my unrelenting need to test, perfect, discard, and archive my autistic food-related experiments. In my strange world are BabyDaddy, my leftover Dispos-All,  and RockStar, the 7 year old lab monkey for hidden vegetables in seemingly innocuous favorites.

I will let you know what is safe and what is terrifying. I take no responsibility for your individual results if you don’t live in my house, love butter and sodium, or have any english mastiff hair in your kitchen.